Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Gym Class

The first day of gym class in middle school (or junior high) is always a delight. After hearing the school secretary announce over the PA in home room that "boys must purchase an athletic supporter" while the girls giggled, we “junior males” were sufficiently humiliated. At the actual class, some bruiser of a gym coach and his pair of Aryan assistants put us through the paces of a workout routine that proved that we were indeed, wimps.

Background story.… Our school was brand-new when we started. In fact, it was so new, it wasn’t complete. We spent the whole year waiting for stuff that was “on order”. At any rate, one of the things that was not completed was the installation of the soap holders, which had been inserted into the tile block walls of the shower but not secured. End of background.

We finished our class and were in the locker room, changing clothes and getting our nerve up for the FIRST SHOWER. Imagine a bunch of twelve year olds, nutty as squirrels, with thoughts of wet towel fights, embarrassed by our nakeness and other imagined horrors. As the bravest of us went into that great unknown, timidly walking our undeveloped little bodies (with just a hint of fuzz) into the shower room, we suddenly jumped at the sound of a large CLANG! Then came another CLANG and another: the girls shower was on the other side of the wall from the boys, and the girls had removed their soap holders, and were pushing out ours!

Now I'm not saying that anybody saw anything, but there was a lot of screaming coming out of those showers. The gym teacher came out of his office and yelled, “NO SHOWERS TODAY - GO BACK AND PUT YOUR STREET CLOTHES ON!”

We did as we were told and they fixed the showers the next day.

Sex-Ed wasn't until the ninth grade.

By Professor Batty


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