Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Flippist Industries, Inc.

   Many of you may wonder what is required to produce such a top-notch blog day in and day out. Some may think all you need is a gift of gab, a laptop and a modem. Au contraire, mon feré! I've prepared a little presentation so that you can understand all the effort that goes into every single quality Flippism Is The Key posting...First slide please!

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   Here you see an aerial view of the Flippism campus, located on 4000 acres of virgin prairie, in Minnesota's heartland, Anoka. Please notice the man-made lake, nature trails, and meditation huts located in the feral-cat preserve.

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   Entering the main reception area, you will notice the indoor waterfall, the pianist in the marble atrium, and the Versace-clad security guards (with color-coordinated Uzis!)

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   The first complex houses 244 wordsmiths (that English major IS good for something) toiling away on the proper structure, parsing and syntax for the upcoming post - ever wonder what the meaning of "is" is? They know!

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   Now we're in the legal department. A phalanx of barristers (in wigs) is kept busy with the judical issues surrounding this blog, including analysis of those intriguing Nigerian emails.

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   This is my favorite area - the theology department. One hundred monks and esteemed scholars ponder the mysteries of Flippism. Their current project? Attempting to create a version of the Hanson Bible in ancient Aramaic.

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   And here, yes this is it, the inner sanctum, my fortress of solitude, the office where I work on this blog. Strewn about this knotty-pine garret are various volumes of forgotten lore, Icelandic phrase-books (most of the phrases are somewhat morbid), Björk videos and a copy of HTML for Dummies. Please note the stack of moist towelettes next to the keyboard!

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   There it is! A cast of thousands laboring day and night to bring you the finest in internet entertainment. Any Questions?

By Professor Batty



6 Comments:

Blogger Tykho said...

wadda campus, wadda blog!


Blogger shrinkette said...

Bravo! Love your blog.


Blogger lab munkay said...

*clap-clap-clap-whistle* Bravo-Batty, Bravo! How do I win a special pass to be heliported in for a live tour? I promace not to vidio tape your compound. Much. I'll bring the Riga Black Balsam.


Blogger Comica said...

Standing Ovation!!!! Huzah! Marvelous production!

Does it really take that many monks to uncover the Hanson bible? I could produce the same results using only one Southwest Virginian teenager, but I digress! ;)


Blogger Professor Batty said...

...I'd love to have you all as my personal guests - all expenses paid! I'll contact the Minnesota State Lottery tomorrow and see what the hold-up is about my winning ticket...


Blogger Comica said...

Someday when my adventures are over and I need an area for reflection and to write my memoirs, I may require one of your meditation huts in the so-called feral cat preserve. Any chance of renting one of my very own?

I like how you arrived at 244 wordsmiths. No more, no less!

And I'll pay for YOU to come teach at my University once I get MY winning lottery ticket cashed in.

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