“Electronic toast technology” - hmm, the idea of eating electronic toast isn't very appealing.
“Bagel technology” - A little better, except it is a toaster I need, not a bagel engineer.
“Use of extension cord may cause FIRE OR DEATH” - well, enough high carb toast with butter may cause death also.
“Optical Browning Sensor” - this can detect the proximity of certain a romantic poet? Or a hunting rifle?
I finally made my choice - European Engineering (designed by a infamous German Arms Maker), a simple lever, an easy to understand knob, a warming tray on the top (something I have actually wanted in the past!) and even a Bagel Button. I brought it home, read the manual (Do not use in or near the bathtub! - Drat! I‘ll have to forgo my daily shower toast!) and tried it out. It worked perfectly, with only a faint aroma of Teutonic superiority.
The world is full of unrest, troubles and war. My life is a series of innumerable setbacks and defeats. At least I can have one simple pleasure: perfect toast.