Friday, December 17, 2004

Hollywood Calling!

“Yes, hello this is Hollywood calling, is Mr. Batty in?”

Hollywood! Just the word alone conjures up images of movie premieres, with searchlights whirling behind sequined starlets stepping provocatively from their limos, smiling in the glare of a thousand flashes from the papparazzi.

I can see it now: The camera pans up to the theater marquee, and there it is: Flippism - The Movie! I knew someone would pick up on my humble blog eventually… But wait! I won’t forget my long-suffering readers, they’ll all have to have roles, and not just walk-ons:

Little Miss L will have to be the leading lady, of course, and Ame could be her plucky/bratty/pesky little sister (with a heart of gold.) Tykho could be an international spy and Jojo the wronged woman. We could have something for Andy and Gary too… perhaps a good cop/bad cop team. The Descendant could be a high-powered attorney and Lab Munkay #9 could choreograph the production numbers! With a Bollywood dream sequence starring Reshma! And, for a touch of class, Kristín. Would they cast me a kindy father-figure? Or perhaps as a kinky playboy—an Austin Powers who says in his best Minnesota dialect ”Oh ya youbetcha, BABY!”

I am ready for my close-up, Mr. Demille.

“Mr. Batty, this is Hollywood VIDEO calling about your overdue rental, ‘Herbie Goes Postal’… Mr. Batty? Hello… Is anyone there?… ”

By Professor Batty


Blogger Comica said...

Batty has been overlooked again by the Academy. Call Spielberg! He'll set things straight!

You're the only professor I know willing to put me in a role. Thanks for giving this wannabe actress a chance. ;)

Heart of gold? Well, I'm up to bronze, but someday maybe I can live up to your heart, which has more gold than Fort Knox.

Blogger Lady of the lake said...

Prof. Batty, I'm still laughing at this post. "Hollywood VIDEO calling"....PRICELESS! :)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for that, Professor. I now have to clean coffee from my monitor.

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