From Flippist Industries comes a new product, guaranteed to make your life more fulfilling, rewarding and moister! The Autoblogomatic™, is now available, in a variety of designer colors, ready to enable you to compose your blog entries with only a few keystrokes, instead of laboring with hours of soul-searching and mental gymnastics. Here's how it works:
Type in a routine blog entry like this:
When I was young I had a dog named Daisy. She was a good dog, although she was not without her faults.
Not very interesting, is it? But let's push the IRONY button and we get:
When I was young, I had this dog who was my whole life, and then she ran away and was hit by a car. Life's a bitch and then she dies.
Too grim? How about a little CUTE from the Autoblogomatic™:
My childhood bestest friend in the whole world was my puppy, Daisy-doodley-doo-kins. She had big brown puppy eyes, and she would be sad when she did a no-no.
The Autoblogomatic™ also works for political content, just press the
There are those among us who masquerade as our best friends, but although they may act the part, let's call them for what they are - Liberals!
This compact machine (about the size of a large refrigerator) will look right at home in your den, garage or survivalist bomb-shelter. Won't you be the talk of the Blogosphere when you fire up the Autoblogomatic© and turn your mundane drivel into award-winning, power-packed, I-lit! Send no money now! If you are not completely satisfied with your Autoblogomatic™, just return it personally to the home office in Nome Alaska, and our crack team of service professionals will be happy to beat you senseless.