"Limited Time Offer!"
That's right, my friend, this offer is for a limited time only!. Eternity is not available with this solicitation. You will receive a limited amount of time, to do with as you want (subject to certain limitations) and once it's over, it's gone for good.
"But how can I get in on this amazing deal?", you may well be asking yourself. That's the beauty of it! You're already in! Because you have been born, your offer of limited time has already begun, there is no examination, no hidden charges, no waiting period. Just start using your 'Limited Time' and you will be able to benefit from this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! 100% compatible with all belief systems (excepting Sci*nt*l*gy). Act today! Send no money!, Remember, you are already taking advantage of your own, personal, limited time!