Thursday, December 22, 2005

Office Party

   Today we had the annual OFFICE PARTY at work. Not like the liquor-fueled orgies of years past, but just a table of snacks in the dingy break area (not even a room!) Of course, there were those little weenies, and mystery "meatballs". Every year's celebration brings to mind the year that one of the counter people brought in a 'friend' to help us eat. A shuffling mountain of a woman, we were nevertheless gracious and invited her to sit with us. after all, there was plenty, right?

   The exhibition of consumption left us all open-mouthed and speechless. The by now unwelcome visitor wouldn't stop eating. And eating. She took entire platters of prepared food, and ate them all. And then had more. And more. I had never seen such a display of pathological gluttony since Mr. Creosote in Monty Python's Meaning Of Life.

   It was funny at first, then sad. The woman was killing herself with food.

By Professor Batty


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