Monday, February 05, 2007

Gone in Sixty Seconds

Sunday mornings usually mean a trip to the neighborhood gas station/convenience store. This past Sunday found me there sixty seconds after a car theft. In Minnesota in the winter, despite innumerable warnings, people leave their cars running (granted, it is cold) and then dash into the station to pay for their gas (or pick up a pack of smokes) and then walk out to no car. The owner of the vehicle, understandably very upset, was calling the police as I paid for my paper.

As a crime of opportunity, this has to be the easiest. Simply hang around a gas station until you see a running car with no owner. Get in the car and drive away. This station is near a freeway on-ramp; by the time the police make a report the perp is in the next county (or on his way to Chicago.) No hotwiring, no window breakage, and the real beauty of this crime is that the car already has a full tank of gas! It isn't called a convenience store for nothing.

This is such a common occurrence here that it doesn't even warrant the local news anymore, unless there is an infant in the car, WHICH HAPPENS ABOUT ONCE A MONTH!

Flippist Wisdom #1. Don't leave your car running with the keys in it.

If this seems obvious to you, you have passed the Flippist novice test, you will be getting your "Purple Sash" soon. If you have trouble understanding this, please leave your vehicle unlocked and running in front of my house... I could use a free car with a full tank of gas...

By Professor Batty


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