Friday, May 11, 2007

Angels Are Naked

Welcome to paradise! You'll notice that you are now robed in diaphanous silk, no-iron and stain-free. Like your redeemed soul! You are free to wander the cloudy expanse, just mind that you stay within the pearly gates! Ha! Ha! A little joke we like to tell here at the newcomers expense. You're in for good! Very good (no evil allowed!) The days pretty much run together here, the sabbath is for "earthies" not you. There are quite a few tykes running around, you really didn't think we'd send unbaptized children to limbo did you? The only limbo you'll find here is the limbo bar at the Saturday night fish fry. Only a few fish and a couple of loves of bread, but don't worry, there'll be plenty- and its heavenly!

You may notice an occasional angel here or there, yes the feathers are real, and yes, that's all they wear- ANGELS ARE NAKED! Not to worry- they're just a little extra "downy' in the nether regions. The one blowing the hot trumpet is old Gabe, don't mind him- the only song he knows is "When The Saints Come Marching In" and he never plays more than two or three thousand choruses at a time. All the angels are OK, if a little flighty, but watch out for Moroni, he'll spend an eternity going over your genealogy if you let him. If you need a lift, just flag down a chariot (golden or flaming) and Ezekiel will take you to whichever cloud you'd want to visit (my recommendation is #9.) Or just kick back and do nothing.

You've got all the time in the world.

Choir practice is at seven.

By Professor Batty



2 Comments:

Blogger Kristín said...

Insomnia keeping you up at night?


Blogger Rose said...

Oddly enough, I just finished watching The Green Pastures (1936)a couple of days ago, so images like this have been very much on my mind! Netfix--get it! Rex Ingram rocks! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Pastures

Post a Comment