Monday, November 17, 2008

I Am Curious (Yellow and Blue) Part 1

The Reluctant Virgin

I had been putting it off for years. That sacred consumer's pilgrimage, that testament of faith in Modern Design, that pledge of allegiance to a Scandinavian heritage: My first trip to IKEA. My initial impression, from the Mall of America approach ramp, was not of a building, nay, rather it was of a vision of geometric planes in yellow and blue, mirroring the colors of the Swedish flag. I wondered what my Swedish-born Grandmother would think of this- a building whose footprint was probably twenty times the acreage of her tiny hobby farm.

It was so crowded that I had to park in the overflow lot; whatever the economists are saying about retail sales didn't apply here. Crossing the street to get to the ground-level entrance, my heart skipped a beat- I was almost there!

Those vibrant yellow walls were almost too much to bear.
My field of vision was overwhelmed,
I was squinting in discomfort.
It was my last chance to turn around.
I wavered and then, gathering all of my resolve,
I went in.

Tomorrow: Brave New World

By Professor Batty


Blogger Rose said...

The Mall of America! You ARE a brave man, Batty. I await further updates with bated breath...

Anonymous mary said...

And once you go in you cannot get out again without walking through the whole store!

Blogger Móðir, kona, meyja said...

Please don't tell me you've seen the film by that name...

Anonymous Jon said...

Your courage cannot be denied! I fear I would lose my culture if I even ventured near, but I can live this experience vicariously through you, oh awesome one!

Blogger Professor Batty said...

Rose- yes, IKEA is right across the street from MOA- paradise or hell, depending upon one's perspective.

Mary- there were "shortcuts' but I went through twice!

K- I was too young to see it when it was in the theaters.

Jon- courage.

Blogger Comica said...

I feel that many pedestrians in Ikea are secretly involved in some race, and I keep getting in their path to the finish line.

The place scares me, but yet I've gone back to face the Swedish lion.

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