Friday, April 10, 2009

You Talkin' to Me?

My vices (excepting Blogging, of course) have become so quiescent of late that I fear I may be sliding down a slippery slope into dullness. My secret thrill these days is to skip lunch and have a soft-serve ice cream cone instead. I had stopped by a MacDonald's for one of their $1 cones, made of skim milk, sugar and air; cheaper but almost as tasty as a DQ and fewer calories as well. I was sitting at a table, happily licking away while reading a newspaper when a mid-30ish man dashed in the door ran up to me and said "Is that your station wagon outside?" I said yes and he continued "My kids said you hit my vehicle with your door."

I specifically remembered parking and exiting very carefully because an SUV was straddling the line.

"I didn't hit your car, did you see a mark?"

"No, my kids told me you hit my vehicle!"

"Don't you think you should look at you vehicle?"

He ran out and then back in.

"You hit my vehicle! Come out and open you door and I'll show you where your door hit it!"

It was obvious that I was dealing with someone looking for a fight. Perhaps he had dinged his door himself and was looking for someone to stick the bill on. Outside, he was almost hopping.

"See, see the mark! You hit it!, Open your door!"

I calmly opened the door. The SUV had rubber running boards which stopped my door several inches away from the finish. The "mark" was about six inches higher than the top of my door.

"I didn't hit your car."

He was furious now.

"You're lucky you didn't hit it!"

"I'm lucky?" I didn't hit your car! I think you're crazy!"

"Say it again, say it again! I'll show you who's crazy!"

I felt that I was deserving of an apology, but I suspect that that this type of person wouldn't be able to grasp the concept. I felt sorry for his kids, but not too concerned. When I was a child it seemed that most of the dads were on an emotional hair-trigger, ready to spill into a rage over any trivial offense- real or imagined. Most of us made it through OK.

Maybe the guy just got laid off, who knows?

There are stories in the news everyday about guys snapping.

Maybe he had a gun in his SUV?

I shut my car's door and retreated to the restaurant.

By Professor Batty



4 Comments:

Blogger Rose said...

So much for your life sliding into dullness. Or maybe dullness is looking better now...


Blogger Móðir, kona, meyja said...

Makes you see dullness in a rosy haze...


Anonymous Jon said...

Dull is fine, especially when the alternative is nuckin' futs!


Blogger lab munkay said...

Describe to me this mad man Batty. And when he comes to my prison,and he will, I will never let him have ice cream.

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