Monday, March 28, 2011

Batty Visits Development Hell



Welcome! Sit down, Batty, you've been busy since we last met. I've been looking over your manuscript, LOVE IT! REALLY LOVE IT! Based on your blog, right? I've been checking that out too, some good ideas there, stuff we can use. Now there are just a few things I'd like to "punch up" a bit, give it a little wider appeal. Now this is a story of an older man, at a turning point in his life, looking forward and backward, and it all takes place over a week at a music festival in Iceland. In October. In Iceland? Listen, Iceland was hot for a while, with that swan-lady, and that group with all those weird lyrics, couldn't understand a word of it! HAHA! The music festival thing is good, but think about making it in some tropical island- you can show more skin that way in the filmed adaptation. You know- hot dancing, sweaty bods, HAHA!

Now let's discuss the protagonist. Batty, I love ya, but no one is gonna read a whole book about a older white male anymore, unless its about a serial killer or something like that. Let's skew the age down, rather than a 60 year old, lets make him 16- he's old enough to have cojones, but still has some "cute puppy" appeal. I'm seeing Justin Bieber here. Rather than a crisis of confidence, he can have gender "issues", girls love that stuff ya know, and he isn't just attending the music festival, he's playing in it! Now we're getting somewhere! AHHAHAHAH!

Let's get into that romance angle. In your story, the hero undergoes a personal transformation when watching a couple of 15 year-old girls playing folk songs. I like the part about the girls being 15, but folk music? Really? Folk music is for aging hippies, right? Let's make them rappers. We'll get Rebecca Black for the film version- she'll play both roles- they'll be twins! OOH! OOH! OOH! I've got it! This is going to be big, Big, BIG!

THEY'LL BE VAMPIRES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

Don't be alarmed by the needle on the end of the feather, a little pinprick, just a formality. Sign here, and I'll get your project on the fast track.

By Professor Batty



3 Comments:

Blogger oroboros said...

Funny!....and all too true *sigh*


Blogger Caroline said...

Hehe. I read the older post too, like them both...Very funny.


Blogger Professor Batty said...

Now if I could only get my finger to stop bleeding...

Post a Comment