Sunday, August 08, 2004

Horns!


"Horns! Horns! Horns!" - Oliver Hardy in "Towed in a Hole"

   It's going off again.

   The knucklehead down the street who manages to set off his car alarm EVERY time he parks. I suppose that the idea of a "horn" came from the ancients who used hollowed out animal horns to make a crude trumpet, to warn, call to alarm or just communicate over distances. With refinements came musical instruments and, ultimately, Miles Davis.

   But THIS horn, this senseless braying, while it does have a fixed pitch, and even a tempo, is not a musical instrument at all- lacking in any of the previously stated attributes. It warns no one - our sleepy little burg is not running rampant with auto thieves - it is not calling anyone - HE IS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIS CAR - and communicates no useful information to anyone. Well, maybe it does state: "I AM A MORON. IF YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT FACT IN THE LAST FOUR HOURS - I REPEAT, I AM A COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY UNREDEEMABLE IDIOT."

   And how was YOUR Sunday afternoon nap?

By Professor Batty



3 Comments:

Blogger Lady of the lake said...

And here I thought it was only myself that was disrupted this afternoon, while trying to read, by the idiot next door mowing his lawn for the second time this week. And yes, his truck alarm went off too! AUGH!


Blogger Comica said...

Wow, I'm sorry you have to put up with that. Car alarms...more trouble than they're worth I say.

Also, a wow over the Oliver Hardy quote. I have not met one person, save for my mother, that could tell me what an Oliver Hardy was...Never forget Laurel though!


Blogger Gage said...

ah yes the good old car alarm. I think they are probably the least useful protection for your vehicle these days since everybody typically ignores them. I think the owners set them off 99% of the time.

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