Headset Man(iac)

Once exclusive to telephone switchboard operators and jet pilots, the headset—an earpiece and a microphone on a flexible holder—is becoming ubiquitous. In the late seventies, office receptionists started sprouting them, sometimes it was impossible to tell if they were talking to you or on the phone: “… Hello, may I help you?” “Why yes, I’m here to see about the…" This got you a stern look of rebuke accompanied by a warning finger shake.

The person on the phone is always more important.

The next big inroads were with fast food order takers. Usually they were kept in a special area, so as not to get your hamburger mixed up with someone else’s fries. Now, of course, as an adjunct to the cell phone, they are everywhere. With newer and lighter versions, they are becoming a fashion accessory, almost like jewelry. Mr. and Mrs. Jetson (and Judy!) never had it so futuristic.

As for me, I want the ultimate. A headset that says: POWER! AUTHORITY! IMPORTANCE! I will get a big, shiny, wrap-around NFL-style coaches’ rig. Then when I talk, I will make wild gestures, my face will contort, and when my call is over, I can tear it off in a fit of pique.

Oh Yes!

Fear me - the great communicator!