Sunday, November 07, 2004

The Line

   “Where is the line with you?” - Björk
The line, the line between us all.

Between strangers, between lovers. Between friend and family. Courtship (what a quaint word that is these days!) is all about finding the line. One reason that casual sex may be so unfulfilling is that the line is ignored, no boundaries are established, nothing comes out of the experience—it is intimacy wasted. When relationships are established, the line becomes defined. If two people have greatly differing ideas of where the line is, strife and misunderstanding will ensue. If they share similar ideas about the line, both will grow in their relationship and in themselves. This has only a tangential relationship to right and wrong or ‘morality’. If you survey couples who have been together a long time, each may have reservations about the other’s ideas, beliefs or traits. But they will know, with a high degree of certainty, where the line is.

Good friends always know where the lines are. Families have special problems with lines, every familial relationship has another dimension to it: you were born into a family, you didn’t chose them. The lines have been set from an early age, before the self was even defined. A lot of people struggle throughout their lives when the lines separating them from their relations are hopelessly entwined with those lines that connect them. Destructive behaviors: addictions, abuse and hatred, abolish the line with disastrous results. Where is the line with these blog entries and comments? Part of the appeal of blogging is the distance that we share - the line is ‘out there’ somewhere, and we can be a little freer in our expression, and a little more open to the ideas of others.

By Professor Batty


Anonymous Anonymous said...

A variation of this theme has facinated me for some time, and the variation has to do with the revelation given in relationships. What I mean more specifically is that although you may be my friend, lover, wife.. whatever, there is a certain amount of me that I reserve for myself. And depending on the depth and bredth of the relationship that private self is less or more. In other words, my wife knows more of my personal secrets than you do.

I once started a photo project based upon this premise, and I got some very intersting results. I may have shown them to you, if not, you may find them to be telling.

Very nice post, very well crafted.


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