Friday, January 07, 2005

Paranoia

   It isn't that I think people are out to get me. After all, I could just kill my blog, close up the ol' laptop, and disappear back into the pages of Ripley's Believe It Or Not ("Man writes meaningless blog for months, then vanishes!"). That would be too easy, the coward's way out. It's just that I know that people are watching me - a couple of months ago I put in a site meter (click on the black number at the bottom of the sidebar) and it will tell you, in a vague sort of way, who's been reading. The ordinary web portals, AOL, RR and other dot-coms are no problem. Some I've even managed to correlate to the reader. Just plain folks, nothing to be afraid of. But every so often some commercial address pops up - like glaxowellcome.com.

    Now what would a huge international drug cartel want with yours truly? A new direct-marketing scheme? Do they think I'm importing drugs from Canada? Or are they concerned that "The Key" of Flippism is a powerful holistic healing method that will make all drugs obsolete? Or how about the Swiss consulting firm KPMG - am I to think that a major corporation is checking into Flippism with the eye for a hostile takeover bid? Or finally, GOV.UK. Tony Blair knows where I live. He read my B&B from hell post, and it's payback time... My mind is running wild with possibilities of malfeasance. Isn't that the sound of a helicopter hovering over head? Isn't that a phalanx of jack-booted brown-shirts coming up the side walk? The door...they're breaking in...no escape... must not panic... ARRRGH!




"Bothered by persistent heartburn? Ask your Doctor about the purple pill..."
...a public service of Glaxowellcome...

By Professor Batty



3 Comments:

Blogger Gary said...

If you want to be really paranoid, approach the downing street press office and try to get an interview with Tony Blair. Within minutes your site logs will show hits from every conceivable government department, and black helicopters will hover above your house.

The bit about black helicopters may be untrue.


Blogger Lady of the lake said...

If you get Tony Blair to hit your site..send him to me..not my site..to me. LOVE the man. (stop the paranoia...wasn't that a '60's song?) :)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Consider your age. Glaxo-Smith-Cline considers you an investment...
~Conandammit

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