Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Sex Ed 101

"Okay everybody, the sirens have stopped, but there is another storm headed out way, everybody go home NOW!" The park director didn't need to say it twice, the sky was an ominous green, with black clouds coming in over the western horizon.
"Com'on over to my house, it's a lot closer than going home..." When you are fifteen, and she is fourteen, the logic of that argument is irrefutable. We hopped into her car and her Mom drove us to her house, just before the rain started up again. I called my Mom: she told me to stay put; that the radio had said that a tornado warning was coming for our area, and as she spoke the sirens started up again - this time they didn't stop. The two of us, being safety minded, went down into the basement. Her parents stayed upstairs, listening to the weather reports.

She was a big girl. We were sort of an item, it was her idea to be a couple, I was still pretty clueless on this boy-girl stuff. I was glad to be with her, she was pretty smart and could play guitar better than me. Tonight we were going to have more than a guitar lesson. As the storm raged outside, a different kind of storm was brewing in that cellar.

After about an hour, the sirens stopped. I called my dad, and he came to get me. What would have been a 10 minute trip took a half an hour. I went out to the car and noticed that except for the block we were on, it was black all over. Seven tornadoes had ripped through our city, thousands of trees and power lines were down. We had to backtrack through a maze of streets until we could find a route home. We went to help out a elderly couple that my Dad knew, and then went home. The next day, the paper told of widespread damage and several fatalities. The tornadoes had all gone around my girlfriend's house - it was one of the few neighborhoods left unscathed.

So what did I learn in that basement that night?

#1. Always seek shelter during tornadic conditions.
#2. Sex is a dangerous force of nature.
#3. Big girls can be very nice.

By Professor Batty


Blogger Comica said...

Oh me, Oh my!

Blogger lab munkay said...

Nice. You have given me the excuse I have been searing for to drag my unwilling victums into my basement during spring. "Tornado! Come with me..."

Blogger Professor Batty said...

...Brackety - 'tis strange but true!
...Munkay - I'll go willingly, but please don't eat me!
...Brackety - I've found your re-lit fire (see scrapbook)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

And here I was worried about the cat.

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