Sunday, July 17, 2005

¾ Buzz

Ah, the mysteries of the organism! Of all the mental states we subject ourselves to, alcoholic inebriation has to be the least refined. A glass of wine, a bottle of beer, a cocktail or shot of hard liquor- all have about the same amount of C2H5OH- not enough to get most people tipsy (you really need at least another drink to do the job.) Then the ¾ buzz takes effect- that area where everything takes a 'glow on' while speech, mannerisms and coordination are still reasonably intact. Beyond that, hilarity or depression ensues, often intermixed.

In the 1962 movie "Lover Come Back", Rock Hudson 'seduces' Doris Day after they consume VIP, a candy wafer that turns into alcohol when it hits the bloodstream. At least he had the decency to marry her first! (It was only the early sixties after all.) What if chemists could devise a self regulating form of alcohol that would keep you at that certain point betwixt sobriety and utter chaos? Would it make any difference? Many people need a little 'lubrication' before they feel comfortable in social or intimate relations. Perhaps a real-life 'VIP' would enable the meek, the shy and the insecure to have an opportunity to feel free, without feeling/acting like a fool.

Of course, you could carefully regulate your drinking, staying close to the 'edge'. But unfortunately alcohol also impairs judgement, causing a 'moving target' effect when it comes to discerning the line of demarcation. Or perhaps, for some, the goal is obliteration. Then the existing mechanisms work perfectly well, if one is prepared to pay the price.

By Professor Batty


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