Monday, December 19, 2005

Industrial Strength Jello

Jello- the flavored, colored gelatin-based dessert. Also used as a base for a variety of molded "salads" contents unknown. A full weeks worth of food coloring in every serving. And, the perfect food to play with. Now your Aunt Janet's jello salad is probably a little too fragile for an EXTREME JELLO COMPETITION- you'll be needing INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH JELLO for that- and the best place for that is a Junior High School cafeteria.

A game we enjoyed when we were of the age was "altitude". Those rubbery blocks were served on a small plate. The object was to covertly flip the jello cube, from the plate, as high as you could (a sixteen foot maximum) and catch it intact on the way down. The master was our friend "Andy" who could float that baby within a few inches of the acoustic tile, then land it, in one piece, on the 4 inch saucer. His greatest trick was the time he lofted it squarely onto the ceiling and it stuck. Just as the lunchroom monitor came up. She didn't see it go up, so we all had to act innocent as we were grilled by the stern math teacher, while the jello-cube of Damocles hung directly over her head. Just after she turned to walk away, the cube fell. Andy caught it cleanly, and it remained whole. The table would have erupted in pandemonium, were it not for the close proximity of our overseer. Andy was the lunchroom hero after that, and he owed it all to INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH JELLO.

By Professor Batty



1 Comments:

Blogger lab munkay said...

Andy is my idol.

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