Saturday, April 01, 2006

"This stocks will move"

Spam, the internet equivalent of noise, does have some entertainment value. Not reading an actual message, just reading the titles. "All the wristwatches you ever dream of" gave me sort of an existential shiver when I first read it. The idea of dreaming about even one watch, let alone all watches makes me wonder what the writer of that was dreaming of. The watch phase has seemed to have died out. For a while, about six months ago, the dominant pitch was for dildoes. Not my style, but live and let live- what ever does it for you (wink, wink, nudge, nudge.) But it was the glass dildoes (scary thought!), and then the magnetic glass dildoes that had my mind reeling. Had some obscure far eastern sex laboratory discovered the secret of magnetic glass? Could I now possess a see-through refrigerator door that I could put magnets on? Is there no end to what modern science is capable of?

Of course the "Low Cost Pharmmacies" advertising "Cee-al-iss" or "Veagra" always give me the creeps. I don't think I'd buy a band-aid, much less a drug from someone who couldn't spell the name of the product he was selling.

Of late, it seems that 90% of my spam has to deal with stocks. The idea of sending one's money to a "reputable" broker is scary enough, but what the heck, why not send my retirement savings and bank account information to someone's e-mail? It looks like a sure thing. After all, I saw it on the internet!

By Professor Batty


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