Thursday, September 06, 2007

I Can See Clearly Now

Cheaters. Readers. Half-frames. Granny Glasses. I got a dozen of 'em. I thought I'd try "real" glasses. I went to the eye doctor (there's a first time for everything), who said I was OK except for accommodation- I just can't focus the way I'd like, a common affliction of age. He wrote me a prescription and I zipped over to the mall, checked out three optical houses, and ordered up a $400 pair of progressives. They were ready the next day, I paid and headed out into a brand new world.


I had never thought much about what it means to wear glasses all the time, people do it because they have too; I've been most fortunate in that my acuity is very high. After wearing the glasses for a week under various circumstances, I found that with them on, I couldn't see a thing properly! Distance vision had chromatic aberration (color fringes on the edges of things), middle distance had a field of view of about 5 degrees, and close up had one small spot where I could read two or three letters, maximum. All fields had a warp thing going on, good for inducing sea-sickness. Driving at night, I had ghosts dancing throughout my field of view. I took them back.

I'm back with the cheaters, so if you see a slightly comical old man with three pairs of glasses in his pocket, it's me. But I can see clearly now, without the psychedelic distortions. Benjamin Franklin invented bi-focals- he simply sawed two pair of glasses in half and glued them together. I think his pair might have done me better than the latest technology.

By Professor Batty


Blogger Móðir, kona, meyja said...

You are not old enough to call yourself old.

Blogger Professor Batty said...

... Stína sætur...

Blogger Móðir, kona, meyja said...

Sæt. Sætur is masculine.

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