Monday, December 05, 2022

Found in a Snowdrift

Re-run from December, 2007 at FITK…

We had a major snowfall last week-end.

I had driven into Minneapolis to check out an annual art sale held in a downtown restaurant. The City of Minneapolis takes a “wait and see” attitude toward plowing the streets, usually giving everyone a couple of days to flounder about in the the snow before any plowing commences. I had parked on the street in a spot that wasn’t completely drifted in. It was a one-way so I exited to the curb. Gleaming amidst the snow was a shiny aluminum tube, with a black plastic collar. “Hmm... a flashlight...” I mused. I tossed it into the backseat to look at  later. The next day, when I had time to examine my find, I noticed that it felt kind of slippery for a flashlight. It was stylish: with a conical end, a raised design that coiled around its shaft, and the aforementioned collar at the other end. But where the lamp should have been was only a small screw-head. Turning it over, I saw a sticker with the words, "MUST CLOSE CAP TIGHTLY" printed on it. I turned the collar, loosening it and it came off- there were batteries inside, but still no light. I screwed the collar back on tightly...
It started vibrating!

Oh My!

Then I remembered where it was exactly that I had parked.

Near “Sex World” — a certain sort of “boutique.”

Then I also remembered why I don't go downtown much any more.

By Professor Batty


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