Reality Check

“Vanity, thy name is BATTY”

 
At a certain stage of a man's life, he actually has to start paying attention to his body. The free ride is over, buster - time to face the music - time for a literal “gut check”. Let's go down the list:

Hair - everywhere but the top of my head

Skin - same old pasty fish belly white

Feet and legs - lookin’ good

Naughty bits - complete and functional

Torso - Uh Oh...I could stand to lose about 20 lbs - Are those the beginning of Old Man tits?

Arms, Hands and fingers - 2, 2, 9 and 3/4 - don’t ask

Face - Oh the horror! Is this the end of Batty? There they are, right below the ends of my mouth -

JOWLS!