Mouse Jockey

As in effing mouse jockey. As in ucked-fay ouse-may ockey-jay. I have managed to avoid a full time mousing position for a long time, but lately I have been working on the newer machines at work. My choice of control is either a vague and slow touch screen or a mouse. I have used dozens of machines over the years, some better than others, but most had some sort of fixed input control device. Usually a keypad, or knobs and switches, maybe even the aptly-named joystick. All did the job with certainty and precision. But to spend a day wiggling a stupid mouse “around” and watching the cursor trail the movements until I could click on a poorly designed control screen is maddening.

With the older machines, one quickly became one with the process, until the machine was an effortless extension of the operator. With the mouse, you first have to find it (it moves around, remember) and then you have to hold it just so, and wiggle it until you are ready to click.. My hand, forearm, upper arm and shoulder are killing me. The laptop I am using to write this has a touch pad, not the most precise device, but it does the job and it is always in one spot and works with a minimum of movement. I have used trackballs (good ones are very nice) but they are not an option on this machine. So am I doomed, doomed to spend the rest of my working days tethered to this little imp of torture? Professor Batty, Phd of Mouseology. Bah! The machine may have won this round but, someday, I will have my revenge!