Outfit Fit

Oh My! I'm in a perfect state, a tizzy as it were, over the choice of my Halloween Outfit this year (it's only nine days away.) In this recession year (fourth in a row) I have to pinch every penny, yet it just wouldn't be right - living as I do in the Halloween Capital of the World - to short-change the tykes with their trick-or-treat baskets. My normal appearance is enough to frighten the children, but I need to give it just that little "plus" to elevate their imaginations into the trauma zone.

   Let me consider my options:

   Pirate...Not this time, Johnny Depp has raised the bar on this one.
   Bum...Too close to everyday. Not PC.
   Vampire...now rated R.
   Homer Simpson...Trademarked characters mean $$$ costumes.
   Dubya...Scary enough, but may get confused with Alfred E. Neuman.
   Clown...Too scary.

   Mrs. Batty has the last word on scary, cost-effective costumes:
   “Why don't you just be the crazy naked man?”
 
   I love Halloween!