Wednesday, December 08, 2004

K.I.S.S.

"For tonight's lecture I will expound, nay—I will enlighten, those in attendance with a veritable cornucopia of ..."

"Psst! Batty!"
 
"I daresay my good fellow! I am in the midst of a VERY IMPORTANT POST."

"Yeah right. You know why I'm here."
 
"I do not, sir! You have me at a distinct disadvantage."

"See this badge?"

"The language police! However did you find me here?"

"You've been spreading your trashy little 'blog' around pretty freely, bub."
 
"I thought no one would find me here, it's...it's...only a harmless little..."

"HARMLESS? We're wise to you Batty, we know your sneaky little ways."

 
"L-l-like what?"

"Oh you started out real nice, clever short posts, pithy, then the verbiage started piling up, just like a regular Stephen King you are, soon it will be two posts a day, then a chapter, then a novella. Who's gonna want to wade through that?'

 
"You're right. I'm just a word-processor-windbag. What can I do?"

(smacking noise)

 
"I am not that kind of guy!"

"Do I have to spell it out? 'Keep It Simple, Stupid'. Use one sentence instead of six. Get to the point. Make every word count. "


"Oh."

"That's it, now you remember."

 
"I'll try to do better..."

"And lay off those annoying ellipses. Just try ending a thought for a change!"
 
"O.K.. Are you finished?"

"Just one more thing, wiseguy - remember this - there's probably a lovely young English major out there somewhere that you have been warping with this 'Flippism' baloney. Or an ESL reader that might get some wrong ideas from your 'clever' wordplay. Just watch it, petey! Because we'll be watching you!" (leaves room)
"Er. Ah. Class dismissed!"


5 Comments:



Blogger lab munkay said...

Fight the power Batty! Write on!


Blogger Regnhlif said...

haha: watch it, petey :)
I guess I'm one of the few that understands this.


Blogger Professor Batty said...

...ég gat ekkí að Því gert...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

hee hee, I think I've met these police. They can be downright cruel.

-Amy http://amy.dflytech.com


Blogger Comica said...

I'm leading a protest! Free speech for Batty, Free Speech for Batty! Let the professor speak however much he wishes and say whatever he wishes!

Flippism bologna? NAY, NAY say the masses! We crave more Batty. Bring on the chapters, bring on the novels!
It is Flippism Divine Scripture!

I won't hear of anybody shushing the Batty.

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!!!

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