"For tonight's lecture I will expound, nay—I will enlighten, those in attendance with a veritable cornucopia of ..."
"I daresay my good fellow! I am in the midst of a VERY IMPORTANT POST."
"Yeah right. You know why I'm here."
"I do not, sir! You have me at a distinct disadvantage."
"See this badge?"
"The language police! However did you find me here?"
"You've been spreading your trashy little 'blog' around pretty freely, bub."
"I thought no one would find me here, it's...it's...only a harmless little..."
"HARMLESS? We're wise to you Batty, we know your sneaky little ways."
"Oh you started out real nice, clever short posts, pithy, then the verbiage started piling up, just like a regular Stephen King you are, soon it will be two posts a day, then a chapter, then a novella. Who's gonna want to wade through that?'
"You're right. I'm just a word-processor-windbag. What can I do?"
"I am not that kind of guy!"
"Do I have to spell it out? 'Keep It Simple, Stupid'. Use one sentence instead of six. Get to the point. Make every word count. "
"That's it, now you remember."
"I'll try to do better..."
"And lay off those annoying ellipses. Just try ending a thought for a change!"
"O.K.. Are you finished?"
"Just one more thing, wiseguy - remember this - there's probably a lovely young English major out there somewhere that you have been warping with this 'Flippism' baloney. Or an ESL reader that might get some wrong ideas from your 'clever' wordplay. Just watch it, petey! Because we'll be watching you!" (leaves room)
"Er. Ah. Class dismissed!"