No More Mr. Nice Guy!

After attending a de-sensitivity training seminar (part of a customer service class) I’ve decided to change my personality. No more musings on art and culture: I’ll replace those with Nascar updates. Björk? - now its Toby Keith. Vegetarian entrees at Cafe Brenda? Nope, I’ll do my dining out at Stuart Anderson’s Steak House from now on. Anti-Dubya tirades? A thing of the past, sign me up for the next Bush ‘pre-emptive strike’. Social awareness and compassion? No sir, strictly dog-eat-dog from now on. Dairy Queen? It'll be Dairy KING for me.

I’ll trade in my compact car for a Hummer.

I’ll replace my canoe with a big speed boat with TWO 200hp motors.

Garden rake? - Leaf blower.

The company of women? Now it’s the good ole boys network for me.

Fine wine with a gourmet meal? - Jack Daniels with pork rinds.

Gay marriages? - Nope, only sad ones.

Youthful enthusiasm? - Jaded cynicism.

Humor - Aggression

Love - Hate.



Hey!

Where did everybody go?

I just wanted to fit in with the program.

I didn’t want to be alone like this.

I still have Rush Limbaugh.

And Ann Coulter.

And a Christmas card from Dubya.

And a life free of messy things like friendship, society, empathy.

I have MY freedom.







… please… somebody… comeback…





… please…