Leaky Abstractions

A new phone system was installed at my place of employment recently. It has, in the modern style, no functions which are labeled in text. Instead, there are icons.
There are red and green LED lights as well- they blink on and off- who knows what they signify- Christmas? The icons are meant to be abstractions of the functions, I think, although I am not really sure. There is an old-time announcer's microphone pictured next to one button, I thought it was for paging, but no, there is some other button for that (which I couldn't find.) Perhaps it's for singing? There is also an ominous red button with a phone handset printed on its top; I think that must be the hot line for calling Moscow in case of a nuclear attack. It does have a caller ID screen, thank goodness that display is in text, so I can avoid calls I don't want to take. Once my name was on it; I started having a Lost Highway flashback. The icon that really creeps me out is the "floppy disk" for files on PCs. (On Vista even!) Why not have a gramophone for mp3 files? Or a buggy whip for a cursor? A wax seal for "save as"?

I'm going to have a theme party, where everyone can come as an outdated or ambiguous icon. We'll party like it's 1999 1899.