Adventures in the Green Van VI

Return from Big Lake

A transcript from a cassette tape recording made in the green van, 1975:

Stranded in the Jungle… Rawhide… Ronnie… Big Girls Don’t Cry… Sherry Baby, Wah-Wah-Tusi, Iko Iko… 634-5789… oh you know that one… Patches… Wolverton Mountain… Itchykoo Park… The Blues Magoos— You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet, Rainy Day Mushrooms… Liar, Liar, The Castaways, what was the follow-up? Leaving You Babe on the Midnight Train… I thought it was Little Latin Lupe Lu? That was the Chancellors… Talkin’‘bout my baby, Little Latin Lupe Lu… Wait a minute now, we bought our PA speakers from… Raggs… Bomp-Bomp-Bomp-Bomp-Bomp-Ba-Bomp Bomp, I was walkin’ with my baby, down 49th Street, I said ‘Hey pretty baby, I’d really like to meet ya now… I said a-shake and stomp… Where the hell are we? Blue-black hair, shaded eyes, baby you got me hypnotized, you’re the girl with the long, long, blue-black hair… Wait, why don’t we sing something I know? This old man he played one, he played knick-nack on my thumb… (Am I Blue is on the radio dial switches to Different Drum) Stone Poneys! … and I ain’t sayin’ you ain’t pretty, all I’m sayin’ is I’m not ready for any person place or thing to try and pull the reins in on me-ee soooo-oh, goodbye… That’s a big scam, How about some Motown? Baby, Baby, I hear a symphony… ooo-ooo… Some Rod McKeun? You son of a bitch… I was wrong, you son of a bitch… Lightning striking again, together, together, no never, never!…

You know I felt that way once… you know what I think it is? It’s the new math… algebra… I had waffles today, that’s the truth, frozen waffles… don’t you think frozen waffles are bunk? Now you take a Mambo Pie… put peanut butter on it… (Hey Jude plays on the radio) He used to play bass in John Lewis’ old band I want you to… it was Gordy Johnson on bass, Mark Bandor on rhythmn guitar, Mike Stoner on drums… Mister Moonlight… Bandor played guitar? com’on… take a sad song and make it better… We got some guys, and went to Hy’s to buy a tape recorder… the kneebone’s connected to the hipbone the hipbone’s connected to the hipbone, the hipbone’s connected to the backbone, all praise to the Lord… you’ll all be sorry when I’ll be dead… that’s a good song… (laughter)

Well have a smoke on me, Oh No! Forget it, that’s a quarter cigar… (laughter)
Well have a smoke on me, Oh No! Forget it, that’s a quarter cigar… (laughter)
Well have a smoke on me, Oh No! Forget it, that’s a quarter cigar… (laughter)
Have a smoke on me, Oh No! That’s no joke! We’ll have a quarter cigar…

Time for no joke, time for no smoke, time for a joke from Rickeee…

Does Ricky Lewis resemble Rocky Lupino, Oh No! Oh No! Not in the slightest!
Does Ricky Lewis resemble Rocky Lupino, Oh No! Oh No! Not in the slightest!
Oh No! Remember the big teen breaker store, were you there, were you there?
Remember the First National Bank, were you there, were you there?
No, No, does Ricky Lewis resemble Rocky Lupino, Oh No! Oh No! Not in the slightest!

The Broadway Musical Mud, the 1975 hit, everything you wanted to know about dirt. Has Rick Lewis as a baby, it all started before he was born. He came outta his ma, he came outta his ma! Okay.

I wanted to play rock'n'roll music but I heard the call from Shasta Beverage Company.
ONE MORE TIME!
I wanted to play rock'n'roll music but I heard the call from Shasta Beverage Company.

Please let him stay in the van. Oh, Ricky speaks! Speak to us Ricky… Aw that’s all right. It was a small crowd, you could count it on the fingers of one hand. I dreamed I was there in Hillbilly Heaven… Rich, C’mon now… (Sounds of van door opening and then closing. Tape hiss is heard for 5 minutes, then the sound of door opening again.)

Ricky, Ricky… I’ll sit back here… Tiny Bubbles, in the wine… make me feel happy… We won’t have to wait in Minneapolis… A lot of what you call… sex? We’ll probably be sober enough to handle it… what… Oh! No! Shasta Beverage won’t do, I did not think the foreman could be so cruel… I’m never going back to my old time-slot… You sit on the console, I’ll sit on Tucker…

Lon Cheney was a friend of mine…
Lon Cheney was a friend of mine…
Lon Cheney was a friend of mine…
Lon Cheney was a friend of all mankind…
Lon Cheney was a friend of mine…
Lon Cheney was a friend of mine…
Of yours and mine…
A friend of ALL mankind.

(The rest is noise… )