The Autoblogomatic™

20 years ago on FITK

From Flippist Industries comes a new product, guaranteed to make your life more fulfilling, rewarding and moister! The Autoblogomatic™ is now available (in a variety of designer colors), ready to enable you to compose your blog entries with only a few keystrokes, instead of laboring with hours of soul-searching and mental gymnastics. Here's how it works:

Type in a routine blog entry like this:

When I was young I had a dog named Daisy. She was a good dog, although she was not without her faults.

Not very interesting, is it? But let's push the IRONY button and we get:

When I was young, I had this dog who was my whole life, and then she ran away and was hit by a car. Life's a bitch and then she dies.

Too grim? How about a little CUTE from the Autoblogomatic™:

My childhood bestest friend in the whole world was my puppy, Daisy-doodley-doo-kins. She had big brown puppy eyes, and she would be sad when she did a no-no.

The Autoblogomatic™ also works for political content, just press the
RUSH key:

There are those among us who masquerade as our best friends, but although they may act the part, let's call them for what they are - Liberals!

This compact machine (about the size of a small refrigerator) will look right at home in your den, garage or survivalist bomb-shelter. Won't you be the talk of the Blogosphere when you fire up the Autoblogomatic© and turn your mundane drivel into award-winning, power-packed, I-lit! Send no money now! If you are not completely satisfied with your Autoblogomatic™, just return it personally to the home office in Nome Alaska, and our crack team of service professionals will be happy to beat you senseless.

Commenting:

Blogger lab munkay said…
You had me at moist.

Blogger Dondi said...
sign me up for purple and lime green with SERENDIPITY and DESTINY

Blogger Professor Batty said...
...lab munkay- you had me at "Bittersweet"

Blogger RS said...
Hey, nice :)

Image: AI Image Generator

UPDATE: When I wrote this 20 years ago I was being fanciful and sarcastic. Now, with AI chat programs, this is a reality, and it’s on your phone!

Reposted