Tuesday, July 06, 2004

The Batty Egosuction Clinic®

   Friend, do you have that bloated "full of ones self" feeling? Are your hats all too small? Tired of wiping lip marks off your mirrors? Is your favorite Beatle song "I Me Mine"? If so, I have the answer. The Batty Egosuction Method®. Just four short weeks at the world-famous Batty Egosuction Clinic® and your feelings of self importance will be reduced to near - human levels. A possibly painless surgical technique followed by intensive behavior modification will create a new you, one with a balanced perspective, empathy for others, and a "just plain folks" outlook on life that will make your life a sunny walk in the park, instead of a wallowing in the dark dank cesspool of "your needs". It even works on Republicans! Read this unpaid testimonial from Dr. Fuzz:
"I was a typical raging egomaniac until I tried Professor Batty's Egosuction. No one could stand to be in the same room with me. Now I am loved by women, respected by men, and a friend of forest creatures and small children. In fact, my ego is so reduced I can hardly remember my own name!"
See how easy it is? Send no money now - no salesman will call - we'll be calling YOU!
Offer valid only where licensed. Additional fee for sterilized instruments. Batty Egosuction is a registered trademark of Flippist Archives, Inc.

By Professor Batty


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