Wednesday, July 10, 2024

20 Years Ago on FITK

The Batty Egosuction Clinic®

Friend, do you have that bloated “full of oneself” feeling?
Have all your hats become too small?
Are you tired of wiping lip marks off your mirrors?
Is your favorite Beatle song I Me Mine?

If so, I have the answer.

The Batty Egosuction Method®.

Just four short weeks at the world-famous Batty Egosuction Clinic® and your feelings of self importance will be reduced to near-human levels. A possibly painless surgical technique is followed by intensive behavior modification that will create a new you, one with a balanced perspective, empathy for others, and a ‘just plain folks’ outlook on life that will make your existence a sunny walk in the park instead of wallowing in a dark dank cesspool of ‘needs’.
It even works on Republicans!

Read this unpaid testimonial from Dr. Fuzz:
“I was a typical raging egomaniac until I tried Professor Batty’s Egosuction. No one could stand to be in the same room with me. Now I am loved by women, respected by men, and a friend of forest creatures and small children. In fact, my ego is so reduced I can hardly remember my own name!”
See how easy it is?

Send no money now - no salesman will call - we’ll be looking forward to erasing YOU!

Batty Egosuction® is a registered trademark of Flippist Archives, Inc.

Additional fee for sterilized instruments.

Image: Universal Pictures

By Professor Batty


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