This is a FITK re-post
Monday, May 30, 2005
It was a middle-of-the-night session, The Professor and his trusty laptop.
Perhaps it was nerves, or too much coffee, but the Professor couldn't sleep that night. In his pine-paneled garret, that unreliable narrator worked on yet another installment in the ongoing forum known as Flippism Is The Key
The night was warm and, while a rumble of thunder in the distance augured a storm, at that moment the air was still, with ominous, almost putrescent odors of mown grass, cloying flowers, and humus permeating the neighborhood.
While glancing at the clock - 02:30 - a shadow crossed Batty’s line of sight, going from the open window to the darkest corner of the little room. "Drat! A bat is that! Scat!", muttered the Suessian Professor. He picked up a throw from the couch to gently capture that 'child of the night' before it could hurt itself or arouse the rest of the household.
He arose, turned toward the corner and then stopped. Instead of a winged
mammal, he saw before him, wearing an elaborate Victorian outfit
(complete with a red-lined black satin cape), what appeared to be a
"Allow me to introduce myself," the apparition purred, "and
please forgive my brash intrusion. I am Beelzebub, the Prince of
Darkness, Satan, or he who some may call the Devil, and I am here to
make you an offer that I think you will embrace willingly, once you
comprehend it in its entirety."
The dubious professor thought: I simply must get that screen replaced...
then said: "What do you want with me?"
"I notice that you're blogging, and having a tough time of it tonight, aren't
you? A little short on inspiration tonight?" A hint of a sneer curled
the nocturnal visitor's lip as he continued; "You realize, of course,
that I could help you make your blog an overnight sensation, MILLIONS of
hits, book offers, screenplays, groupies, and even your face on the cover
The professor seemed tempted for a
moment, but then slowly crossed his arms over his chest and shook his
head; "No, no thank you. I'll pass on that."
"My dear man, don't you
realize that I can bestow to you all these things and much more?" said the demon," You
don't grasp the breadth of my power, do you? It wasn't Al Gore that
invented the Internet, IT WAS ME and, may I add, 'you ain't seen nothin'
"Thank you, no, I'll stick with what I've got. It isn't much,
but what goes in this blog is as true as we can make it, no matter how
silly or oblique it may appear." The professor was a little irritated by
Satan's boasting. "You may be the Devil," he continued, "or you may be
the Lord, but this place exists for its own purposes, and is not in
service to God, the Devil or Mammon."
"Truth!" snorted the Devil; "And can you be so sure of the others who appear here? What darkness lies within their nature?"
are who they are. They write what they see fit, and I have neither
feeling nor reason to doubt their integrity." The Professor was truly
angered now, "They have their own demons to deal with, and need no help
or hindrance from the likes of you!"
The true nature of the interloper now became manifest, as his fine clothes turned into
reptilian scales, and his unctuous voice now turned into a sulfurous
hiss- "Wait and see, my ersatz professor, wait and see- you'll be on my
side yet- or as I have often been quoted: 'If you aren't with me, you
are against me!"
With that the otherwise timid blogger flew into a rage, throwing his copy of HTML for Dummies
at the hideous creature. This caused the transformation of the
stranger back into his winged form, which then flew through the window
leaving Batty alone, with his musings, once again.
By Professor Batty
I always love it when old Beelzebub stops by unannounced. It really puts some wind into the old sails.
The problem is that he doesn't like to leave...
Internal Medicine Doctor
Here's what I'd like to know? does this mean that Glenn Reynolds sold his soul to the dark lord? hmmmm...
I have a feeling that I should know who Glenn Reynolds is... but because I don't, I may still possess my soul...
Internal Medicine Doctor
(100,000+m hits per day)